I want to encourage you today. Some of us are on journeys that are difficult...and I'm not just talking about adoption. Some of us have a dream on our hearts, or an idea or vision. And to make that dream, idea, or vision a reality is impossible, unreachable. Please keep reading...
I've been trying figure out a good way to express exactly how this adoption journey has unfolded. Of course we are still on the path to our daughter, the journey has not ended yet. In fact, once she is in our arms, home forever, the true journey begins. But as I sit here typing, my mind drifts back to a name I felt God impress on my heart in a dream. We were deciding on a name for a little girl:
Eliza or Elizabeth
In the dream I wrote these names on a piece of paper and showed it to Brad, then I awoke. It made such an impression on me that I wrote it down in my journal. I couldn't get this dream out of my mind. Then I looked up the meaning of both names. Eliza is a form of Elizabeth.
Elizabeth - God is a Vow -
I had this dream during a time of financial struggle and unemployment. And this dream gave me
I knew God had not forgotten us. A "vow" is a promise.... truth. And when God makes a vow, He "is" the vow. For God to lie would go against the very definition of who God is.
I wrote this in my journal October 2012:
Elizabeth - God is a vow. You have vowed. You are faithful. Your message of faithfulness is clear! You have heard our plea, and You are faithful to Your promise of provision. Thank You Jesus. Fill my heart with Your understanding.
We were struggling to pay our bills, pay our mortgage, and eventually food. The unemployment announcement came shortly after we brought Arielle home from China. Another adoption wasn't even on our radar. In fact, at that time, the current needs of our children made the thought of adoption an impossibility. All we wanted was "normal". The added stress of "lack of money" hit heavy. I don't want to seem overly dramatic, because as we lived life through that season we made a choice:
Rejoice - regardless of circumstance!
It blessed us! We had already lived through losing a home many years ago due to unemployment. And we did not want to relive that again. But we learned something through that experience...
"Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In ALL your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path."
"Give and it will be given back to you..."
"Rejoice in the Lord Always"... We knew God was/is in control. We need to CHOOSE to believe His promises, regardless of circumstance.
God's Vow. Period.
At the end of a very difficult 2013(and extended time in the PICU with Asher!) our prayers were answered and Brad got the job we needed to pay the bills and the mortgage yay! I could go on and on about God's provision, giving, etc, but it would take too long and I'm too ADD to stay focused that long!
One year ago, January 2014, we were just getting back on our feet and enjoying the new wonderful normal we seemed to have finally achieved.
I received an email from Madison Adoption Associates. They had reduced their application fee, and I found myself filling out an application to adopt ONE LAST TIME. Although we were nowhere near ready, we had talked about starting the process sometime during 2014 AFTER we become a little more financially stable and regain some savings. Waiting would be the "wise" thing to do... And we really weren't sure we wanted to adopt again. We both felt like there may be one more. Another Daughter. But we were pretty content.
to be continued...